don’t hate me because i’m beautiful

We’re all familiar with this ad – at least those of us born before the year 2000.  My mother used to throw her head back dramatically and mimic the model in this commercial, uttering “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” in a breathy, wistful tone.  It always made me laugh – why would I hate someone because they were beautiful?  Was that even a thing? 

As I grew up, I learned that unfortunately, yes, it is a thing.  Not really something that I’ve had to deal with because I’m never really been “hot” by worldly standards (which I’m completely cool with), but it exists.  And “hot” women sometimes use their attractiveness as a justification for acting in whatever way they please (think Mean Girls).

 I was reminded of this recently when I shared one of my friend Amy’s engagement photos on Facebook.  One of my husband’s friends remarked that she was seemingly flawless, and my husband said “Yep, and it hasn’t gone to her head, either.  She is really sweet and everyone loves her.”  To which the friend said, “Wow.”

This situation shouldn’t be abnormal.  This should just be how life works on this planet – people being allowed to be who they are and look like what they look like with no shame, especially when it comes to something as superficial and luck-of-the-draw as outward appearance.  But it is. 

Literally the day after, I was looking up a workout DVD that I use regularly on Amazon because I couldn’t remember what the routine was for Mondays and I wanted to input it into my weight loss app.  I found the information I was looking for – and also a one-star review for the DVD.  The user’s dissatisfaction mostly stemmed from the fact that “The participants are too much like models than real women. Too bad.”

My thoughts after reading this were 1) do you really buy workout videos based on the people in the background and 2) are models not real women??

I’m far from supermodel material, most likely always will be, and honestly, I could not care less, because my self-worth is not tied to how my physical appearance measures up to others.  

I’m not justifying those who treat the overweight as if they are subhuman lifeforms.  I understand how cruel people can be when you weigh more than the average person – I’ve dealt with that for the majority of my life – but retaliation in kind doesn’t do anything but worsen this battle that women voluntarily fight among themselves.

Only dogs like bones. Real men go for the meat!

 Take this image, for example.  This is demeaning to all women.  It dehumanizes skinny woman by comparing them to a dead, inanimate objects, and it dehumanizes larger women by referring to them as meat to be consumed by a man.  This quip, which I’ve seen floating around the internet in several forms, is insulting because it insinuates that, skinny or fat, small or large, a man will only be interested in you for your body and nothing else.  
Which is ridiculous.
It is so silly to hate women who are more attractive than us.  It reminds me of high school, when I was mocked and semi-bullied because I was smarter than most of the kids in my classes.  I have a feeling that it’s kind of the same situation – the naturally attractive are labelled as self-centered b*tches, the naturally intelligent as butt-kissing overachievers.
We need to stop disliking people because they have achieved certain ideals, and start focusing on how we can achieve the ideals that are open to us.  Understanding this is liberating.  When I finally learned that me making fun of skinny girls didn’t change the fact that I was unhappy with my body being the size that it was, I decided to start living a healthier lifestyle – now, I couldn’t care less about what someone else weighs.
Don’t hate someone because they are more attractive than you.  Because they have a better job than you.  Because they have a car that you can’t afford.  Because their IQ is higher than yours.
if you want to be skinnier, work out and eat healthier.  If you want to have a better job, develop ambition and find out what it will take to make that happen.  If you want a better car, save up your money and follow a strict budget.  If you want to be smarter, read a book or go back to school.  Do whatever it takes to achieve the end that you desire, and just shut up about those who already have what you want.  
Stop justifying your situation in life and just do it. 
Whatever it is, just do it.

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